[Surfside] Really-bad-movie reviews

Paul Makepeace bookmarks@paulm.com
Tue, 9 Oct 2001 23:47:44 -0700

This is a good laugh, reading the user comments on IMDb's list of Bottom
100 Movies. There are movies so unutterably bad that thousands upon
thousands of people have found themselves driven to express their
frustration, annoyance, disgust at these pieces. After reading about a
dozen of the reviews, visualizing these people sitting thru' and
cursing the writers, actors, etc starts to get really funny.

Bottom 100: http://us.imdb.com/bottom_100_films
Example, "Santa with Muscles" (Hulk Hogan), http://us.imdb.com/CommentsShow?117550

``I can pick some decent stuff out of the movie. Its about Christmas
and good guys winning which is fine with me but I am rating the movie on
the scale for its acting and watchability(if thats even a word). First
of all, anything that stars the Hulkster needs to be given a warning
label regarding "bomb probability". Secondly, a movie needs a plot. Some
plot. Any plot! I've seen better plots from a 3rd grade math class.
(cheesy joke, but not nearly as cheesy as Hogan's) Even a 3rd grader
wouldn't believe the things that take place in this movie. The saddest
part is that respectable actors like Garrett Morris and Ed Begley Jr
actually allowed themselves to be placed in this stinkers credit list.
Warning: Anyone who was in this movie, leave it off of your resume if
you intend to work in anything legitimate for the rest of your career. A
rating of one is generous b/c there was no zero. One good thing is that
you will once again realize just how good all the other Christmas movies
are compared to this stink-fest.''